May 2011
5 posts
March 5, 1998
My Moose Age: 10
On March 5, 1998, we made our own collages. I thought it was a good idea. I didn’t make something very creative, though, because I’m more of a non – fiction person. Well, I made a moose and here are some of the ideas I had, colors and shapes I made, and what I was thinking when I made “MY MOOSE.”
The colors I used were red, green, and purple. The reason I used these colors was...
Fall 1994
I wrote this note to my mother in 1st grade after going to the alley to play kickball with the neighborhood kids without telling her. I was apparently very polite for a 6 year old.
Age: 6
Dear Mommy,
I am sorry I didn’t tell you where I was going. I had a funny feeling inside that told me to come back. But I disobeyed myself.
I am sorry.
I Love you.
Love, Jessica
October 16, 1997
Age: 9
Dear Journal,
Today is the 16 of October. I just finished cleaning my room. As my dad would say, “It’s so clean it’s sparkling!”
Nothing’s new. I’m still reading “Number the Stars” By: Lowis Lowry. My class reads sooooo slow! I mean, I read the book at LEAST 3 times! Oh well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to read it again. It IS a good...
Sophomore Year
Age: 15
DEAR JESSICA,
If you fail this final you can give up all hope of getting into AP. And if you don’t get into AP you’ll never get into a good college, or might I say, university. And if you don’t get into the most prestigious pretentious #1 school in America, you may as well kiss your life good bye because you’ll end up on the street a crackwhore with a burn out...
April 2011
11 posts
May 4, 2004
Age: 16
My life goals…
Make out to DMB’s “Crush”
Go to the Netherlands and smoke hash at a hash bar
Go to South Africa and listen to people play guitar on the street
Attend an Afro-Cuban show in Senegal
Make and edit a film that I’m PROUD of
Become a published author, none of this school lit mag bs
Meet Dave Matthews
Travel across country/hitch hike
...
August 4, 2004
Age: 16
Honestly…
the movie Garden State just changed my life.
August 11, 2004
Age: 16
i’m really annoyed actually. because i have tickets to go see phish tomorrow night, and it’s their last tour, and whitney’s been planning to go with me. i have no idea if she’s still coming because she hasn’t returned my call. and so if she calls me and cancels tomorrow then i’ll have no one to go with! and this is phish’s last tour so it’s...
February 14, 1999
Age: 11
HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY!
Today I went to the mall with Grammy and Ali and bought 2 spaghetti strap shirts, and one has a light blue jacket that goes over it and the sleeves stop at the elbos! It’s sooo cool. It looks like a Danielle Fishel outfit!
We ate at Red Robin’s tonight. It was alright, even though we had to wait for our food for like a half hour! And boy was I...
January 22, 2002
Age: 13
Hi-
Exams went alright. I’ve had a traumatic night. Well, at any rate, Andrew told me he loved me and was being too sweet to me. Journal, I told him I loved him too. IDK. I mean, I think I do. But that word LOVE seems so serious. It seems like it’s for boring adults who sit at home drinking whiskey and investing in the stalk [sic] market. Or for people who jump off cliffs and...
June 2001
Poems from Teen Star
Age: 13
Haiku
Tears, nothing matters. My friends come, and help me through, Things matter again.
If I Were
If I were a TV show I would be Gilmore Girls. If I were a school subject I would be Drama. If I were a book I would be Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. If I were a pet I would be a cocker spaniel. If I were a clothes store I would be Abercrombie and...
June 2001
Age: 13
For some reason, in 7th grade, I decided to make my own teen magazine. There was only one issue—released in June 2001—but it is HILARIOUS. The mag was called “Teen Star,” and I clearly went to great pains to assure its professional, glossy look: it is comprised of Clip Art / Word Art, Curlz MT font and nail polish serves as border decoration. I even laminated it....
July 1st, 2002
The first time a boy told me he loved me on AIM while listening to Dave Matthews Band.
Age 14
Me: i wish i could know
Me: what it feels like
Me: to REALLY be in love
Him: yes
Him: thatd be very nice
Me: yes
Me: it makes me cry sometimes
Him: what?
Me: cuz i feel like i love people
Me: but not love love people
Me: and i wonder if people even love me
Me: not love love, just.......regular love i think
Him: well
Him: think about it
Him: youre loved
Him: trust me
Me: but like
Me: how do i know?
Me: for sure?
Him: because i love you
Him: and if thats not enough
Him: than it should be
Me: you love me?
Me: goddammit
Me: that is enough
Him: good?
Him: shit
Him: good
Me: i love you too
Me: :-)
Me: wow you made me feel better
Him: id say you made me feel better
Him: but i was listening to bartender
Him: and talking with you
Him: so things just dont get a hell of a lot better
“So today Uncle Jon took me out to lunch at Applebees. Then I got my retainer...”
– November 27, 2002
Age: 14
March 2011
25 posts
December 5, 2007
Ed. Note: There is something so strange about the diary entries from the end of high school and beginning of college. Clearly I haven’t quite etched out a definitive voice, but I’m really starting to get there, and some of the passages do reek of things I’d write later, things I’d even be proud of. There are these lines of clarity that make my chest constrict even now, but...
May 5, 2004
Age: 16
i am so sad. tonight was the season finale of the oc. of course i cried my eyes out. i’m not even fucking kidding, what am i going to do until fall without it? and it was such a good episode but i feel like all the issues will be resolved next week, but they won’t! i have to wait until september! ahhh.
so theresa went back to chino and decided to have the baby, she asked ryan...
January 1, 2008
Age: 19
it’s not that I hate my family. it’s really not. i love them, at least as much as i can, after all the shit we put each other through. on the very surface, i think they’re great people: philanthropic, accepting, traditional. the trouble is, i just don’t know how to communicate with them anymore. it’s like all of the practiced dialogue i grew up on: the question and answer session at...
December 2007
Age 19
him: i think the best thing to say about our entire relationship is i loved loved loved when you rubbed my hair. i never expected anyone to do that
me: why?
him: because i expect myself to take care of myself for the rest of my life with no help from anyone and you rubbing my hair was like you taking care of me in ways that i couldnt do myself
me: i liked taking care of you. i never thought i had it in me until you
him: it made me happier than you can imagine
me: i've always been kind of selfish but being around you made me want to do things for you, stupid things, like make muffins and bring you coffee and give you cigarettes and touch your hair
him: i know that. and it made me feel weird for letting you. but i loved it too
November 23, 2002
Age: 14
After being pummeled by oranges by my sister for the past half hour (no lie) I’m pretty pissed off.
I just about realized how much I hate my family and need to get the hell out of here.
All my parents ever do is fight. All my sister ever does is whine. All I ever do is homework.
This isn’t a way to live. It’s a fucking prison! And at the risk of sounding...
March 6, 2003
Age: 15
I realized today that I am a very cynical and sacastic little girl. I wish I could be happy and sweet like boys want girls to be. But instead I am someone who overanalyzes situations until they are “blue in the face” so to speak, and with a sharp wit to match. I wish I could be the cute nice girl that everyone loves. But I can’t. No matter how hard I force myself to be...
May 18, 2003
Age: 15
I’d like to take this opportunity to reflect on who I am now, 15 years old, independent and about to graduate from my freshman position at Springfield High school…
Here are just some random facts:
I’m very obsessive compulsive
I’ve made out with 4 people, 2 of whom I regret
I’m a virgin but I can see myself not being one AT LEAST by senior year. I just...
November 19, 2002
Age: 14
I don’t like being depressed. Me and my horrid, uncaring, pathetic self have locked the bedroom door and began blasting my old Nirvana CD. Poor ol’ Kurt Cobain - so tragic, so REAL. I like reality. Like in Almost Famous. I can relate to him. He was real. William was so fucking real. Am I?
I think I’m too real. Too intense. I wish desperately sometimes to be carefree and...
October 1997
Dear Journal,
I’m soooooo board! My dad and my sister, Alison, are at Ali’s soccer game. My mom is in a really bad mood as usual. I’m not surprised that she is though.
I called Lauren and Megan and they’re both not home! I get the feeling that nobody likes me or maybe they just are to busy doing their 6th grader things to have time for a 4th grader like me. If...
September 26, 1997
Age: 9
Dear Journal,
I know I haven’t written in you for a really long time! About 5 months and 4 days. I’m surprised you haven’t forgot about me! Here’s an update on what’s been happening in my life since I last wrote you. School started about 5 weeks ago. I’m in 4th grade now. No more baby games or fooling around. 4th grade is a real grade. Not one of those...
“I text him “Whatever” and go to Barnes & Noble to buy the new...”
– Spring 2005
A Note
One of my biggest reservations in doing this project is that my childhood diaries are just so painfully cliched that it’d be easy to mistake them for fakes. For authenticity’s sake, I’ve gone back and posted pictures of the entries that were written in physical notebooks. You really can’t make this shit up, people. I actually was this embarrassingly angsty.
March 15, 1997
Age: 9
Hey Journal!
AAAAAHHHHH!
I can’t stand it anymore! I’m gonna go crazy! I requested a song 15 minutes ago and now it still hasn’t played! Now we’re leaving for the parade and now I won’t get to hear it! I hate my radio!
Well, that’s life!
Sincerely, Jessica Roy
March 29, 1997
Age: 9
Dear journal,
Happy Easter!
I found out something that I didn’t know if it were true or false. I found out that the Easter bunny and Santa weren’t real! It kind of makes me sad that my parents have been lying to me for so many years. I still like to believe, though!
Well, bye!
Jessica Roy
Spring 1996
Age: 8
My favorite book is called “Mandy.” It was written by Julie Edwards. It is about a young girl who’s name is Mandy. She lives in an orphanage and one day climbs the wall and finds out that there’s a little house behind the wall. Well, you find the rest out yourself. Read Mandy by Julie Edwards.
July 3, 2002
Age: 14
I finally got this urge to do something….artistic. So, my dad took me to grand old CVS and bought me black and white film. I’m really into symbolism so I get these ideas for really fucked up, symbolic pictures. Like, I put chicken wire over this mini American flag, and put it on the slide of our tree house…It symbolizes how the american dream (the flag) is restrained...
March 15, 1997
Age: 9
Hey Journal!
Here’s a report on the egg I soaked in vinegar.
Nothing much happening! Of course though, I just did the experiment a few minutes ago along with the elbo joint making experiment.
Well, that’s about all for now! Write to you tomorrow!
Bye!
Signing off,
Jessica Roy
(Scientist)
November 1, 1996
Age: 8
Dear journal,
Guess what happened at school today?!?! A kid named Matt, Sarah’s brother, found a raser blade. He luckily did the right thing and gave it to Mrs. B. I think he did the right thing. Amanda, on the other hand, thinks he should of stabbed his sister Sarah but I don’t. I like Sarah.
Well gotta go!
Bye!
Sincerely,
Jessica Roy
Spring 1996
Age: 8
What I would be like if I were 14 would be like this…
I would get A’s and B’s and I and my friends wouldn’t where funky makeup or smoke. I would have hopefully long blond hair down to my shoulders. My friends would be nice and so would I.
Well, that’s what I think I’ll be like. Maybe things will change. Boy I hope not!
October 29, 1998
Age: 10
Dear Journal,
Hi! N/M new to tell you! Except that I got P.A.W.* @ school today. I was so excited! I got popcorn in Mrs. Seay’s office. I also got a certificate for a FREE Papa John’s small cheese pizza!
Well, gotta split!
Signed,
Jess
*P.A.W. was some geeky school award.
October 27, 1998
Age: 10
Dear Journal,
Hi! How are you? I’m fine, but OMG! I’ve got something BIG to tell you! Alright, well Samir told Stevan and Stevan, Cortneys bf told Cortney, and Cortney told me (long list isn’t it) Well guess what?! Samir still likes me! I couldn’t believe it when I heard it! I thought my ears were playing tricks on me! OMG! I just can’t believe it! But, see,...
October 26, 1998
Age: 10
Dear Journal,
Hi! I’m in a bad mood! My mom has been calling all of these important people, to talk to them about my test grades! Then she tries to talk to me about it and I’m just like, ‘Mom, I DON’T care about the stupid NWEA test grades right now! I couldn’t care less! I just want to lead a normal life, like last year, when my mom wasn’t calling all...
September 11, 1998
Age: 10
Dear Journal,
I’m so sorry!!! I haven’t written in you for SO long!! Well anyway, guess what!?!? The most horrible, annoying, incredible thing happened to me today. I was at a football game and when I got back, I had a message from my best friend Hannah. The message said that she had bad news. And boy was it bad!!! Hannah said that Kristie Smith*, the meanest, cockiest, most...
July 1st, 2002
Age: 14
Parents.
They are so annoying.
Mine always pick the littlest things to get on my back about. They know that I don’t give a fuck about any of their unimportant superficial shit, so they do their best to try to make me to care. Hah! Bullshit.
My parents decide to “invite me” to a movie with them. Let me tell you, I’d rather sit through three Britney Spears...
